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Dating means totally different things, depending on who you ask. It can range anywhere from something that is serious to casual, intimate to non-intimate or even open to committed. Whatever your definition, many of us can admit that dating can sometimes be excruciating when trying to find what you truly want.
A date can be anything from going out, spending time together or even hooking up as long as both partners accept the label. From a guy’s perspective however, depending on what you want, dating is a process by which you get to know someone. Most times we are simply fine with just going with the flow and allowing the process to happen regardless of the label. We pursue women differently based on what we want and when we do find someone we like, the whole dating experience can be an extremely tedious venture.
Through dialogue with women about their dating experiences, one thing seems to stand out in that women feel the purpose of the first date is to get to know the other person and to feel them out. Guys too often are willing to rush into things by trying to score on the first date but really, how often does that happen? The purpose of the first date is to determine if you are interested in the person enough to go on a second date. Am I attracted to this person? Are they able to hold a good conversation? Are there any immediate red flags? Can I feel safe around this person? Once those questions are answered and you passed the first round of tests, you pretty much penciled your way in for a date number two.
When talking about their best and worst dates, women enjoy it when guys are gentleman like and treat them well. Eye contact and the ability to make her smile are a plus as well as showing interest in her and actively listening to what she says. Some of the worst dates however, were when guys came on too strong or were boring. Some women didn’t even know they were on a date to begin with. Your personality along with the venue and atmosphere play a huge role in a successful date. Here are a few ideas girls wish us guys came up with when planning the first date.
A trip to a local park, zoo or aquarium
Why this works? Because it makes for good conversation as you get to know each other and takes the pressure off of forcing the conversation. As you enjoy the scenery and hopefully each other’s company, you get to chat and keep things interesting.
Play tourist (sightseeing)
Again, it takes the pressure off of you to force a conversation while providing you with lots of distractions and scenery to get the conversation going. She would love to see your city or hometown through your eyes while getting to know a bit more about you at the same time
Express your adventurous side and get your adrenaline pumping immediately that is, if she is up for the task. These activities are extremely fun, which takes away some of the first date jitters of trying to impress her. Show off your athletic and adventurous side while she enjoys the ride.
Take a class together
How about taking a cooking or dancing class together? Make sure it’s a hobby you both are interested in making the date fun for the both of you. You get to learn something new, a new recipe or dance move while sharing that experience together.
Hit up the beach/park
The locales are different depending on where you live but the point is to go outside. Whether it’s the beach or an open field of grass, go out and relax. Build a sand castle together, go for a swim, relax on the park bench or have a picnic. You don’t need a fancy restaurant or to spend any money at all. A beach or park are simple and provides awesome scenery and a laid back atmosphere to talk and get to know each other.
When planning your first date guys, remember it’s important to be yourself. Find a place where you can have a conversation and get away from that oh so predictable, dinner and a movie. Be a gentleman, treat her well and slow down. Chances are you won’t get anything on the first date anyway so don’t even try. Take the pressure off of you trying to impress her by doing something fun and adventurous. If she’s more laid back then do something simple with lots of distractions to keep the conversation going. The key is to find out her interests and do something you both can enjoy. Seal the deal and you’ll definitely work your way into a second date.